By Marvie C. Paraiso

Have you ever experienced helping someone and he/she did not thank you? Did you feel unappreciated? Disappointed? Taken for granted? Or just indifferent because “it’s okay”? “It’s not a big deal. REALLY. Because I’m already used to it. That’s just what is expected of me anyway,” one might say.

OR MAYBE… you are that ungrateful or, rather, forgetful person who fail to thank the waiter who served your food that one time at the restaurant or the security guard who opened the door of your favorite café.

While gratitude is something freely given and not imposed, let’s be honest please, we’d like the receiver to acknowledge our efforts—otherwise, we’ll tend to feel that what we did is not valued or is overlooked. It’s not that we wanted the spotlight or recognition, but it sure feels good to be appreciated, right?

WHY ARE WE NOT GRATEFUL?

There are different factors (and probably different for each of us), but let’s focus on the most common: we are not mindful enough. We forget to acknowledge – after receiving that token or riding our usual shuttle or even hearing a friend’s words of encouragement – because we are so used to it. Unconsciously, we have become accustomed to and even entitled to receiving acts of kindness and service. Or maybe, we are not used to saying thanks because growing up, we may not have been taught to be thankful; probably we have experienced suffering or traumatic experiences that keep us from cultivating the attitude of gratitude (Fargo, 2024).

WHY SHOULD WE BE GRATEFUL?

Gratitude humbles us, promotes contentment, and fosters good relationships with the people around us. When we are thankful, we are reminded that the world does not owe us anything, that we are not the center of the universe, and that we need each other because everyone has contributed to their accomplishments (Joiner, 2020). When we are truly grateful, we can focus on the positive things happening in our lives and at the same time celebrate the wins of our neighbors instead of comparing or being envious of their success. Gratitude heals our entitlement, discontent, and bitterness. It gives us the freedom to choose and protect our joy within and without.

HOW TO BECOME MORE GRATEFUL?

Cliché as it may be, change starts within us. If we want to normalize or foster gratitude within our circles, we must be intentional to appreciate the small and big things—the wins and setbacks that we encounter every day.

I have been reminded of the verse Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” It says here, in all circumstances. Not few. Not selected. Not only the good ones. It’s all.  Thanking God in all circumstances means trusting Him with everything that we have and all that we are no matter what the outcome will be. It’s an act of joyful surrender. It brings us peace knowing that He is and always will be in control of the plans He has in store for us in the next season. How blessed are we to have a faithful God, who keeps His promises. This truth should bring us comfort, assurance, and confidence that the One who loves us the most will never leave nor forsake us.

¹⁴Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, PSALM 50:14

SOURCES:

Fargo, S. (2023). The Consequences of Being Ungrateful & How Mindfulness Can Help. Mindfulness Exercises. https://mindfulnessexercises.com/why-are-we-so-ungrateful/

Joiner, R. (2020). Dangers of an Ungrateful Life. The Parent Cue. https://theparentcue.org/dangers-of-an-ungrateful-life/

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