By Claire Nicole A. Mendoza

We grew up believing that the “todo na ‘to” mindset in love is something we must embrace to fully understand or experience its essence. We were taught that love is a commitment that requires giving everything or nothing at all; that we can only grasp its true meaning if we give our all in the hope of being loved in return.

As a result, many of us have poured everything into love often at the expense of our personal growth, career, and even our well-being. But… is this still the mindset we carry today?

Over the years, we have seen how people gradually transitioned from the ‘todo na ‘to’ mindset to ‘okay na ‘to’ mindset in love. We have seen how people slowly accept the fact that no matter how much they give for love, it will never guarantee that they will be loved in the same way. Hence, they have learned to prioritize not only their emotional well-being but also their personal growth, self-respect, and happiness.

How about YOU? Are you also shifting from the ‘todo na ‘to’ mindset to the ‘okay na ‘to’ mindset?

Here’s a checklist to help you reflect on whether you’ve already made the transition or if you’re still holding on to the ‘todo na ‘to’ approach in love.

Todo na ‘to Love Mindset:

• You prepare grand gestures for every occasion.
• You constantly put in effort and set up surprises to prove your love.
• You strive to be the “perfect” one.
• You try to avoid conflict at all costs.
• You always prioritize your partner’s happiness over yours.
• You believe love should be intense, dramatic, and all-consuming.

Okay na ‘to Love Mindset:

• You feel secure even without constant validation.
• You understand that love evolves and that’s a good thing.
• You appreciate even the smallest acts of love.
• You prioritize mutual happiness and individual well-being.
• You embrace conflicts as part of growth.
• You realize that ordinary love is extraordinary.

Transitioning to ‘okay na ‘to’ mindset in love doesn’t mean that you’ve settled for less. Love is still so powerful that you always have a choice – to love extravagantly or to enjoy its calmness. Sometimes, it simply means that you’re already at ease with what you’ve built together – a steady and strong love.

 In the end, it is realizing that what you have right now is already enough.

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